Gratitude color trust (#133)

I don’t remember initializing

But I know when to walk away
Like a casino with headphones
Like all your mistakes playing out constantly
Like warmth in your broth, in your central platitude
Dance to save
Golden wine

does not proliferate unhonesty, snowfields, dangerous chaperones

maybe this is just a dream
artwork we surrendered
and lifted to
altitudes
Charlie
goosebumps
similar parallel lives
with a strong beat
with effort
with unrelenting beauty_radar
come on, my love
digest this moment with the hairs on your neck
with your favorite setting

with an irresistible beat
with your guard down
to spring back
thrice as high
believe, belong to sparkling wastelands, a knowing failure spectacle. shining brighter than the pumped up success bubbles.
BURST THEM and LIVE
LIVE

LAUGH

raffle sun. for sun. clear waters, murkiest spirit
Run faster
When you know less

Sprint Up The Stairs (#132)

I used to drag my husk up stairs, each step a slog
When did that become normal?
Sprint hills, imagine them unpainful burdens.
Trick yourself into enjoying a previously loathed event
Pits get cologne
Immediately post-shower
If residence isn’t departed
Smell like electric evening all for yourself

First Irresistible (#131)

Confidence-booster, you are, you are
Within zones, believing status, I never acknowledge now
Dissonant nostalgia clouds my flirtation
A flushing of my cheeks
Too proud to corrupt
Too wild to resist
She slaps the taste
Derides chosen features from a catacomb
For too many gushing attributes, I become philanthropic
a red panda with efficient vocabulary
a razor slicing through wisdom
Lead me back

Wretched Faith (#130)

Zero your strings this evening
a false narrative to distract, to plunder
Shiny and new, I fuck not
Shove your entire essence into a burning heap of tar
You are the most uninteresting version of evil
You peaked at adolescence
I despise you
and this field
Your vapidity so eternal
We imprint ourselves to see anything at all
I daydream your torture

Loose: Altogether (#129)

enjoy
lose step with orbit
crutching down on an evening scheme
heroic fail-safes are dressed to the nines, while
lights & wires
ravish skylines, runways
scale neon to proceed

offset once or twice
sexy cop TV shows from the Eighties
those soundtracks
that hair
weird, but cool
fade out in orbit, catch backdraft to
cosmic
diner
fill up, twitch

fund a family event with apprehension and preoccupation and allergies
pop down for medicinal rust of Malibu waves
lift weights for momentum, direct thoughts
hats adorn cycles, triumphs, welders
weird, but cool
your best friend becomes a stranger over time
until he’s not
too many names, fleeting trips decide
game show
with a piece of itself
as the trophy, mountainside education

make your entrance beneath planks
suffering is fuel
catch
gratitude
float and stretch and decode and reassemble and…
…and scream glitches into yourself

Nope (#128)

Missing the point — almost entirely
Basket with vents
For wrath; isolate
Please notice our original request
for blankets
Instead of pumping your own tires
or striking your own cold match
Connect me and help
like frost to a floor
I’m disenchanted
I’m puking my nerves
Stressed about hefting this burden on you
before you’re even acquainted
with the option
faster and older
iced out, blistered, overwrought
tossing all anchors of potential
into the cavernous bin

Give What You Don’t Get (#127)

Void
Instead of pouring acidic reactions
Give twice as hard
Do this for yourself
Control is false
You won’t fix anything
You won’t feel better
But a donation will maintain your float
Prevention of complete surrender
Never makes sense
Never punches less
Prevention of complete surrender
Headspace
Shoveling wrath
Chilled bones like foil on teeth
Down and out
Give what you don’t get

Before You’re Ready (#126)

do everything before you’re ready
like drugs and projects
release it to the world
before you’re ready
before you die
use your misguided resilience
share life
at a jukebox
carve out chunks and gift them
exist
demolish the futility of your goals
get caustic
bounce
when you find yourself pouring the last crumbs of routine down your jaw, use it as an exercise to revise. blast each blanket from its crest, inviting a wrong and a right. show up again and again and feel the intense pain of giving a damn. it’s so much fucking easier to swallow off and be above townships. you are different. you enjoy you. you fail because you’re fucking crazy and only you know it. it’s all a dance on a piano. you tire of yesterday’s major scale. it’s bright and it’s wild. ravage it you fucking beast.

Forgive Myself (#125)

I forgive myself
That statement isn’t true

Suffering lurches across my spine
When I had the nerve to wield wisdom
I dropped my sword
Tumbled into unobserved muck
Of snares

Panic shouts
Confidence flickers
Summoning a punitive outcome
I studied to conquer Everest
Trained, climbed, reached its summit
And tumbled off the side of the Earth

I don’t understand myself
Which governs forgiveness
There’s no lesson embedded
Only frustration and lashes
A sharpened idiot

Snail On My Soul (#124)

The snail on my soul leaves trails of slime
Eliciting addictions
Activating routines
As I fail spectacularly
As I gain the fragment of an inch
Wishing and hoping
Shifting the slow wagon through districts
Calibrate again
I’m sorry for how drawn out this has been
I’m letting you down, us down
An immediate future, perhaps in opposites
We bawled on the highway and it was delicious
All too brief
Unrelenting
Stubborn
Snail