My name’s Sherman and I’m here to talk to you about something very close to my heart.
Ain’t it shitty when your shiny shirt goes to shit?
Shaky Sherman’s Surefire Shirt Insurance!
You’re shootin’ the shit with Shalyah and Shawn.
Shawn’s shoveling short ribs down his shush-hole.
Shalyah shouts about shark-skin shallots from Shenandoah.
You’re shucking shellfish shards from shrimp shumai, when suddenly,
You’ve shredded your shirt!
Don’t be ashamed.
Because you purchased Shaky Sherman’s Surefire Shirt Insurance.
I’ll cover Shepard’s pie on your sharpest cardigan.
Here’s my story:
I was a shy little sheep shearer shacked in Shaboygan.
My shady brother, Shul, shot my shins.
I tried to share shandy, but shivered and shook,
so my shamrock shirt got showered in schmooze.
That’s why they call me Shaky Sherman.
Folks, I’ll cover your shirt today! Don’t believe me?
I showed Sherlynn from Sheffield a 10-year fixed renewable on her Christmas crop top.
I shimmied Shadrick from Sherwood all threads covered with premium payout on his pristine polo.
I schlepped Shannon from Shapokee full protection on both sweater sleeves.
Shape up or ship out. I’ll draw up the papers right now!
Okay, let me level with ya.
Don’t be shackled into buying shabby shirts again.
Get yourself Shaky Sherman’s Surefire Shirt Insurance*
*Doesn’t include schmear on shawls. Shanghai & Sri Lanka subject to international tax jurisdiction. Sherman sells shirt insurance only. Any inquiries about selling seashells by the seashore will not be honored.